Current Mood:
Faith-filled
It’s the very thing that we feel as though we can NOT do that God will call us to do! I wonder how many people can testify to that? I bet if Moses were still alive, he would definitely have his hand up; for his response to God commissioning him to serve as Israel’s deliverer and God’s mouthpiece was “Who am I that I should go unto Pharaoh” (Exodus 3). Jeremiah would also say the same, as his response to God’s call on his life to speak on His behalf was “Ah, Sovereign Lord, I cannot speak, I am a child.” (Jeremiah 1:6).
My response to God’s call on my life to be His mouthpiece, to lead and to build was quite similar. Actually, if I may go into more detail, it was more like Jonah’s response to God’s command to go prophesy to the people of Nineveh (Jonah 1). After I received God’s commissioning, I RAN in the other direction not wanting to give up my life, my lifestyle, my favorite sins, my time, or anything else I knew He would require of me. But after countless years of running and rebelling, I came to realize that being any place of than God’s will for me is not a place I want to be. Through living through the consequences of my rebellion, I finally came to the realization that I would never find peace nor would the void in my heart be filled until I submit to Him. See, I was “saved”. I had received Jesus as my personal Savior when I was 12 years old, and I meant it! However, allowing Him to be my Lord was another matter. I would still do it Naima’s way. Whatever Naima wanted to do, she would do. And whatever she did NOT want to do, she would not do. I lived a life filled with debauchery, lust, promiscuity, and revelry, and shamed to say, those were the “nice” sins I committed. I can truly go down the list in Galatians 5 (works of the flesh) and say there’s not one I haven’t indulged in at one point in time. I was determined to do it my way (like Frank Sinatra). However, the more I ran, the more I bumped into Him. The more I pushed Him away, the more I yearned for Him. I’d even be in a drunken stupor and bust out with a Gospel song, tears and all. And back then I didn’t know that the call and gifts from God are irrevocable (Romans 11:29) so I found myself drunk and then would spontaneously prophesy (didn’t know I was doing it in that moment) or begin interceding for another, which I didn’t understand at that time. You must understand that I made NO pretense on even trying to live right, but contrary to what I knew and regardless of how hard I fought, God’s hand was upon me – even back then when I was what I call “sinning and grinning.”
I stand today completely sold out to Christ. This comes with many trials and testings, but going through makes a huge different when you know you are going through for a divine purpose rather than your own rebellion. Don’t get me wrong, I do NOT dot every I nor cross every T, but daily I seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, knowing He’ll add everything else unto me (Matthew 6). I do realize that this walk I’ve been called to, which is walking in an extreme level of faith, is beyond normal and would seem crazy to the average person, even average believer, but I continue to march in faith – watching God perform some of the most insane miracles in my life!
So here I am walking in purpose. It took decades to get here, and I can’t say it is easy. I desire the same things many people do (something that comes remotely close to being normal), but that isn’t the life I was called to live. I was called out of corporate America (and the secular workforce in general) 4 years ago, was called to get up and relocate to a “strange” land a little over a year ago, and then told to build that which God directs me to build. Oh, and let’s not forget to being called and commissioned as a fivefold minister. Oh yes, strange for a person like me. And no, this wasn’t something I chose or even seen for myself until He revealed it to me. And my past doesn’t remotely suggest that I’m ministry material. Yet, here I am. And turning back, even though sometimes tempted during weak moments, is NOT an option; for God has made it very clear in His word the outcome of such actions in James 1:15 (yes, the fear of the Lord lives in this vessel). In addition to that, been there, done that, and it wouldn’t be better but much, much worst!
I encourage YOU to submit to God. He may be telling you to do something that seems ridiculously impossible, and you know what? It is! That is, without Him. But you must understand we were made by Him, for Him, according to HIS purposes (See Colossians 1:16). We were made by Him to fulfill the purpose of which He’s created us, and everything about us – from our talents, gifts, personalities, parents, etc – was made to accomplish the purpose we were created for. Therefore, I strongly advise that you NOT get caught up on the particulars – the hows and whys – for He will lead you through and to. Do understand there is a process and the process isn’t pretty, however, it is indeed needed – for your sake as well as for the sake of those whom you’re called to influence. As for everything else, know that God knows EVERYTHING, including how to get what He’s called you to do, done. However, if you don’t begin to make a conscious decision to follow Proverbs 3:5-6, then you will find yourself constantly frustrated and going nowhere. You do have an enemy after your soul, inheritance and destiny, but TRUST GOD. You will have moments (quite often) that’ll seem like there’s no provision for the vision God has given you, but TRUST GOD. You will lose loved ones along the way, whether by abandonment or death, but TRUST GOD. There will even be times when you’re tempted to turn back and return to what used to be your old life, but TRUST GOD. Proverbs 3:5-6,
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not to your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path.
God bless you and hope to see you on the other side!
